Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Oh so many reasons...

So, to anyone who knows me, they know the reason I left seminary was for Carrie Underwood. She might not know it yet, but its true. Sort of.

I spent a lot of time in seminary with some wonderful home schooled families. You know the type - dad works at some prestigious job, mom has her BA in Education, and they have 8 of the most well behaved kids running around their beautiful home. Not to mention they grow their own food, make their own jellies and jams that they keep in the basement, and all the girls can cook anything under the sun. When you ask the kids who their hero is, they either say their dad or name a Saint. When you ask them what they do with their free time, they study Latin and recite the Divine Office. They eat every meal together. No one sits around the TV - instead they interact and spend time with each other.

I wanted that. So I left. Of course, in my head on my way out the door, I helped rescue Carrie Underwood's drowning puppy. So, to thank me, she converted to Catholicism, married me, got me a six figure job at her daddy's company (In my dream he had one), then we started poping out the best looking offspring this side of the Mississippi.

Then reality hit me in the face. And it hurts. I almost cried. Reality is mean. It stole my lunch money and pushed me in the mud.

I took a year off from college, which set me back. I don't regret it at all, but now I feel like an old man trying to finish my undergraduate degree. Not to mention I have NO IDEA what I want to do after this. I mean, I want to go to grad school, but where? You mean in the real world I have to actually get a good job that provides for a girl and family? I don't even know what that looks like.

Sometimes I still think about being a priest. I wonder if I left because I was in the wrong place, the wrong seminary, or I just wasn't ready. I know a few things for sure though - I love God, I love His Church, I love His priesthood, and I love girls. Now I just have to figure out which of those last two I can give up.


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